


Todd Brotzman Is A Fucking Liar

by teacupsandcyanide



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Ambiguously Autistic Dirk, Angst, Asexuality, Fic-Typical Misunderstandings, Fluff, Introspection, M/M, ace spectrum Dirk, more than i planned for oops but on brand, some swears of the f word variety, the author's frankly superb taste in jackets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 05:07:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16825741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teacupsandcyanide/pseuds/teacupsandcyanide
Summary: “You know,” said Kay, bumping her shoulder into his, “happy is a pretty cute look on you. Not as cute as when you were giggling at your phone though.”That was the instant when Todd panicked. His brain, in its flurry of thought, must have fallen back on old habits, because its solution was to lie – lie like a fucking liar who tells lies.“Anyway my boyfriend’s on his way,” Todd’s mouth blurted. Somewhere inside his chest, deep in the centre of where that Dirk-related warmth lived, he felt a soft click. Then Todd felt himself leave his body momentarily, shoot up to the ceiling in a whirl of sheer horror, and come crashing back down into himself with a jolt.What was that? What the fuck was that?-Or; Todd waits to meet Dirk at a coffee shop, the waitress takes a fancy to him, Todd makes poor life choices to deal with the situation - hilarity doesn't quite ensue but some deep soul-searching of the romantic variety sure does. Feat. Dirk's texting style being so horrific that it nearly breaks the fourth wall through formatting hell, a cameo from a Sugarpills jacket, and Todd being a garbage can on fire for more than 9000 words straight.





	Todd Brotzman Is A Fucking Liar

It was a chilly morning in late, late November, and Todd had arrived at their agreed coffee shop first. He took a table for two, (as far away from the counter as possible but backed against the far wall, because Dirk hated the clash of dishes and cutlery but liked having a wall to his back). After shrugging off his winter jacket and slinging it over the back of his seat, he pulled out his phone and opened the most recent text conversation.

**_Saved you a seat. Want me to order?_ **

The reply came within a minute.

**Ahhh !!!**

It was followed by a sweating grin emoji, followed by a sparkle emoji, followed by: **Thank you** , which was itself in turn followed by a short string of more emojis, including more faces, sparkles, and a series of food emojis. Another text flew in:

**Excellent assisting !**

This one was punctuated with a trophy emoji, a medal emoji, and yet another sparkle emoji. Todd scanned the message and replied:

**_…………am I meant decipher that as your order or……??_ **

**L.O.L no Todd  
That’s what they serve at the café ? im being illustrative**

This reply was thankfully relatively free of emojis, ended only with another sparkle, a rainbow, and two open hands which Todd could only assume were supposed to represent jazz hands. Todd shook his head at his phone even as he felt a smile pull at his mouth.

The first time that Dirk had texted Todd, Todd had thought that at least one of them was having a stroke. He’d stared down at his phone for half a minute, wondering if he should call an ambulance, or perhaps the police, seeing as Dirk had clearly been kidnapped and was being held hostage by a teenage girl. If someone had tried to prepare him for the … _unique_ way that Dirk texted, Todd would have struggled to believe them. That a man well into his thirties, let alone one as obnoxiously _wordy_ as Dirk would text like a chimpanzee with an Oxford degree was almost painful to come to terms with.

While Todd hardly considered himself an English teacher, Dirk’s near total disregard for the entire concept of punctuation was baffling to witness, especially from a man who sometimes seemed to talk in sentences constructed of nothing but punctuation. Then there were the texts with little to no actual words, the ones which looked like the result of someone stuffing _The Emoji Movie_ into a blender. Attempting to read those felt like trying to divine a prophecy from the guts of roadkill. To make things even more ungodly, Dirk’s abbreviation sensibilities tended to gravitate towards the early 2000’s – for that Todd blamed the Hilary Duff marathon that Dirk had once had with Amanda.

By now though, most of the novelty of Dirk’s texts had worn off. They had become, Todd realised with a sort of fond resignation, yet another one of Dirk’s many eccentricities that had melded themselves to the daily patterns woven into the fabric of Todd’s life, making it feel not unlike Joseph’s Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat. Check that the flat is locked at night, because Dirk got nervous about burglars – or other entities which Todd had decided long ago to avoid asking him about. Boil the kettle before going to bed so that by the time Dirk had finished showering it was ready to make his nightly tea. There were smaller things too – little embroideries of the day that just _were_. Dirk’s hideously vibrant jacket of the week hanging on the last hook by the door. Dirk’s feet peeking over the couch arm, his socks never matching. These and so many other little things had become quietly essential to Todd before he had even really had a chance to question them. He might even say, under extreme duress, that they made him feel … what was the word for it?

His phone vibrated again, catching his attention. He glanced down at it. _Oh dear god._

The message was a line of lightbulbs, followed by a series of exclamation points, and then one word:

**!!!!! Wiggles ?**

As he stared at it another message flew onto the screen, followed quickly by a small fleet.

**Wiggles !**

**Wiggler !**

**Wiggins !!!!**

**_Dirk what the fuck_** , Todd replied. A moment, then:

**Had an idea** , read Dirk’s message, punctuated not with a comma but a series of further, more passive aggressively linked up lightbulbs, **on the Freefall Fairy case . Greg Wiglez the gardener on the park is hiding something ??? My phone in its infinite wisdom thought it knew better than me and kept autocorrecting his surname**

Todd’s initial snort gave way to sharp, short laugh, one which sprang out of his mouth at exactly the wrong beat in the mixture of chatter and coffeemaker buzz that made up the café’s backing track. The sound caught the attention of the elderly couple on the next table, who stopped halfway through their bacon and eggs to look askance at him. Todd slunk into his chair slightly, feeling like a chastised schoolboy. Still he could feel that small grin tugging at his face again as he texted back.

**_How far away are you?_ **

**At flat now !** came the harried reply. **But can’t find my other loch ness monster sock :(**

Todd shook his head with another mystified half-grin. Why Dirk, at times, chose to default to punctuation faces over his usual incomprehensible stream of emojis was beyond him, but it was a little bit charming occasionally. **_Oh no_** , he sent back, and was just about to rib Dirk some more about his sock tragedy when a voice appeared at his shoulder.

“Sorry for the wait, sir!” It was the waitress, a tall woman with a pixie-cut and a pad in one hand. Her pen hovered above the paper expectantly as she gave him a warm smile, “Can I get you anything?”

“Oh – oh, no I’m okay,” Todd said, an answering smile coming easy to him after laughing. “I’m still waiting for someone, he should be here soon though.” It occurred to him then that the café was pretty busy, given that it was early on a Sunday and the brunch population of downtown Seattle were beginning to swarm in. With a tinge of guilt he added, “Sorry, I hope that’s okay.”

The waitress just batted him on the shoulder good-naturedly, “It’s fine! Don’t worry about it. You need anything, you just say my name, ‘kay?” She pointed at the nametag on her chest: Kay.

Todd nodded at the deliberately lame joke. “Nice.”

Kay shrugged cheerfully, “I try. I’ll back on you in a bit.” She winked at him, which confused him a little, but a moment later she and her pad had disappeared into the throng crowding on the other side of the tiny café. Todd turned back to his phone. Dirk had texted again.

**Don’t worry I settled for my bee sock**

This was, of course, finished with a bee emoji.

**_Oh good_** , Todd began to reply dryly, but was interrupted yet again by a new message.

**Fuck !!! it’s bloody freezing out for gods sake Todd why didn’t you tell me !**

Todd grinned, feeling a surge of _something_ ; difficult to pin down, but warm and pleasant. There was something clarifying about days like this, when between the heady rush of cases and mysteries and alternate dimensions, he could take a moment to bask in the simplicity of something like waiting in a warm coffee shop, saving a seat for his best friend. It made him aware of some feeling that usually hummed steadily in the background but in moments such as these sharpened into focus; a pleasantly lazy feeling that curled in the middle of his chest, spreading outwards. Whenever he compared it to what had been in that space inside him before, the entire Dirk experience felt not unlike sitting down in front of the fire after a long walk in the bitter cold, feeling the slow heat and light make its way through every heartbeat and bone until he felt his chest was full to bursting with it.

It was a warmth that made things easy. He knew, on some level, that a year or so ago he wouldn’t have reacted to the waitress’ name pun, or been able to talk so easily to her, or cared if he was taking up valuable space in an overcrowded café. He would have barely spoken to the waitress, much less made eye contact with her, and he would have been too miserable, too trapped inside a cage of his own devising, to take any notice his surroundings. But present-day Todd, post-Dirk Todd, he had the gift of that small, fiery piece of sun inside him that made it easy to smile back at a stranger. It was a gift he was never sure that Dirk even knew he had given him, and Todd had no idea how to repay or thank him for it.

His phone vibrated again: **SNAPCHAT: from Dork Gently** _._

_This should be good._ Todd opened it. It was Dirk yelling indecipherably into the camera, his jacket zipped up against the chilly November air, light drizzle curling his hair and making him look particularly pathetic. It was impossible in the hubbub of the café to make out what he was saying, but it was clear enough that he was far from pleased about his current predicament. His pink nose made him look like a certain beleaguered reindeer.

Todd grinned to himself and replayed the video. He didn’t realise how transfixed he was by the curl flopping over Dirk’s forehead until a voice sounded near his ear and made him jump.

“Okay, you have got to show me what’s so funny.” Kay the waitress was back, and had come up behind him at some point to peer over his shoulder at the video. “Ah, okay. You’ve added Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer on Snapchat.”

“Right?” exclaimed Todd, unable to help himself. “Uncanny.”

“Totally,” she laughed. “Got any more clips of him?”

“Only enough to make a living from blackmail.” Todd had more videos of Dirk than was at all excusable or reasonable.

“Yeah, like what?” There was a scrape and a squeak, and Todd realised with some bemusement that Kay had slid into the seat next to him, dropping the cleaning cloth she carried onto the table.

The easy warmth in his chest fled with sudden uncertainty, and Todd felt himself come to like someone jolting awake from a daydream. He looked at Kay, then at the cleaning cloth, as if the latter would explain exactly why a busy waitress had just sat down next to him for no apparent reason.

“Uh – I don’t know …” He tried to keep smiling, though it felt suddenly awkward to do so. “I don’t think he’d want me to –”

“Pshh!” Kay waved a hand. “My friends and I put videos of each other up online all the time. I promise, I’m not as mean as the internet.”

Todd attempted to laugh, but it came out uneasy and stilted. He fiddled with his phone, checking for more messages from Dirk, but the screen showed nothing but his empty lockscreen. He felt Kay lean in, looking at the week-old selfie of him sandwiched between Dirk and Farah.

“Aw, cute,” Kay said, “is that your girlfriend?”

That startled a laugh out of Todd. “What – Farah? No.”

Kay smiled at him in a way he found somewhat cryptic. “Okay.” She glanced back at the screen, just before the picture faded to black. “Looks like a cool club, though.”

Todd smiled fondly without even thinking. “Uh, yeah. I guess.” It had been what Dirk later referred to as a ‘bloody omnishambles of a night.’ They’d chased a suspect into a bar and had spent an hour trying frantically to act chill despite being three people who in various ways struggled to understand the meaning of the term.

Farah had stood in the corner like a glitching robot, clutching a single untouched gin and tonic and alternating between swirling her drink silently and glaring murderously at anyone who looked like they were going to approach her for a dance. Todd, the only one who would have actually wanted to be there once upon a time, had quickly found that he’d outgrown the club lifestyle. He’d spent the better part of the hour anxiously watching Dirk cope with the noise levels by downing three margaritas in fifty minutes. The remaining ten minutes had passed in a rapidly disastrous blur when Dirk, drunk as the proverbial fuck, had climbed up onto the stage and proceeded to have the sensory meltdown of a lifetime. At that point Farah and Todd had abandoned all pretence of chill and pooled their strengths of force and guile to haul his ass home safely.

The selfie had been taken about ten minutes in, when they had needed an excuse to take a picture. The suspect was a useless blur in the background, but the photo had made Todd laugh hysterically the morning after. Farah was baring her teeth like a nervous lioness. Dirk was grinning in a similarly feverish fashion, his cheek pressed against Todd’s temple.

“You look happy,” observed Kay, bringing Todd back to the present. She leaned in closer once again, still smiling at him with a familiarity that boded … _oh_.

It had been a while since anyone had flirted openly with Todd. That wasn’t really a surprise, as he had spent the better part of the last few years trudging from dead-end customer service job to dead-end customer service job, and most days when he’d glanced in the mirror he’d thought that he looked like a recently run-over squirrel. He had been taking better care of himself lately though, and after a particularly eventful shopping excursion with Dirk last year, had actually started wearing colours other than blue and dark blue, broken up with the occasional black-grey. Still, despite the flirtatious tone he thought he had picked up, the idea that someone was flirting with him was just … _weird_.

Todd forced himself to stop staring, and to conjure some sort of response. All he managed was an uncertain, breathy laugh that made him sound intensely creepy. He tried to comfort himself with the reassurance that he was probably imagining it. The universe, as usual, was determined to prove him wrong.

“You know,” said Kay, bumping her shoulder into his, “happy is a pretty cute look on you. Not as cute as when you were giggling at your phone though.”

That was the instant when Todd panicked, and searched for some smooth, non-jerk way to broadcast that while she was very sweet he was very uninterested, without making either of them feel embarrassed. His brain, in its flurry of thought, must have fallen back on old habits, because its solution was to lie – lie like a fucking liar who tells lies.

“Anyway my boyfriend’s on his way,” Todd’s mouth blurted. Somewhere inside his chest, deep in the centre of where that Dirk-related warmth lived, he felt a soft click. Then Todd felt himself leave his body momentarily, shoot up to the ceiling in a whirl of sheer horror, and come crashing back down into himself with a jolt. _What was that? What the fuck was that?_

There was no time to take it back, or give some other, more truthful explanation. Kay had already turned bright red with mortification. She leapt to her feet abruptly, the chair almost toppling.

“Oh my god.” She gave a slightly shrill laugh. She had pressed the backs of her hands to her flushing cheeks and was looking like she wanted to crawl under the counter and live there forever. “I’m really sorry, um – I totally misread … Oh my god, I’m an idiot …”

Todd couldn’t hear half of what she was saying as it dissolved into mumbled apologies and self-recriminations, but he felt such a wave of second-hand embarrassment for her that he felt sick. “No, no, it’s okay – you didn’t know!”

Kay was muttering something, cringing as she shuffled away and avoiding his eyes. Todd noticed, very belatedly as she left, that she was quite pretty; her short hair bleached platinum blonde, her shoulders broad, slightly taller than Todd when standing. A year ago he would have felt ridiculously lucky if someone like that had looked twice at him, let alone hit on him. Now he was a completely different person – or at least, a mostly different person. He knew the difference between more than three types of tea, he knew all the lyrics to “Black Magic” by Little Mix, he thought clubs were loud and sweaty and mostly pointless, but he was still apparently a great big liar.

Todd ducked his head, the sea of feelings and thoughts inside him washing back and forth like a pot that was close to boiling over. Why lie about that? Why that particular lie? It was probably nothing, not worth speculating on or tearing himself apart over – and yet, he felt, somewhere in the back of his mind, that figuring out why he had said that was … somehow important. Why not just say he was flattered but not interested? Why not some other lie, if it had to be one at all; why not say he was busy, or going through some shit, or at least make up a fictional person to be his partner instead of saying that his best but more importantly _platonic_ friend was his boyfriend?

The questions and the persistent, nagging importance linked to answering them batted around the corners of his mind. He wondered if this was how Dirk felt, when the Universe prodded him to follow some peculiar thread of thought or flight of fancy. No wonder he was so much in a flurry all the time. Todd recalled what he would say to Dirk, when Dirk was in a tailspin of causation and probability. He forced himself to breathe in, breathe out. He picked one thread up in his mind – a sense of guilt – and he followed where that lead first, hoping it would help him unwind the tangled knot that had wound itself into being there.

Knowing that in a moment of panic he would revert back to a lie was not the greatest feeling – but then it occurred to him that there was something about the nature of the lie that made it both less and more than a lie. Todd thought on his past lies with some discomfort; the little lies he had told his parents and his sister: “I took a taxi because I was scared of an attack.” The bigger ones: “I can’t make it to Thanksgiving, I had an attack.” The biggest, the lies that were the reasons that the other lies were told, the lies that arched over other lies like the spider sitting in the middle of the web; “I’m sick, I need money.” “I got better.”

Pushing past the pain and the guilt that those memories triggered, Todd held himself back and asked; now why did those lies feel different? He closed his eyes; opened them.

_Because I never wanted them to be true._

That was it. A magic lightbulb flickered on his brain, bringing with it a sense of bittersweet triumph. It wasn’t just a plain lie he had told Kay the waitress, it was also a fantasy. It was a wish.

“Oh, Jesus …” Todd groaned and sank into his chair, the heel of his hand pressing into the lines in his forehead.

He wanted Dirk to be … The conscious thought was almost too embarrassing to word properly, but he forced himself to anyway. He wanted Dirk to be more than just his friend. More than that, he had wanted it before he ever walked into this café – he’d wanted it for a long, long time. He’d wanted it since he’d woken up this morning, missing Dirk because he’d spent the night having his bi-monthly movie marathon with Amanda and Farah, and he’d wandered out into the empty living room of the apartment they shared half-wondering why it didn’t smell like Earl Grey tea. He’d wanted it since Susie Boreton had gotten them punch drunk on magic and Todd had woken up with no memories and Dirk’s string of glow-sticks around his neck, and the feeling of ghostly kisses on his mouth, and a hickey he didn’t remember getting just below the dip of his t-shirt. He’d wanted it since he’d met Dirk outside the hospital, over a year ago, that little flame in his chest in danger of flickering out for good, quietly terrified that Dirk would never be able to forgive him.

Somewhere along the way, between blurring memories of pink bandaids and pink fur coats, Todd had started to want Dirk more than anything he had ever wanted in his life. Upon realising it consciously it was something that Todd knew he would never be able to deny to himself again. It was like the moment he had admitted, finally, that the Universe was connected in and around and endlessly unto itself – something he couldn’t unsee, or unthink, or unhear; a new fact of life, the Universe, and everything. And like the realisation that Dirk and everything he claimed about the Universe was real and true, it made Todd feel so much of so many things that he was left unsure whether he was very happy or very afraid, only that he was very _very_.

A coffee shop was hardly the ideal place to process all this, but Todd supposed that it was hardly the worst. He pushed his phone’s home button, more out of habit than anything else. Dirk’s stupid frozen grin shone back up at him, and he felt a skip in his heartbeat like a pebble against the surface of a pond. It wasn’t the first time he had felt that feeling.

He flicked open his phone and went straight to his camera album. The first video was of Dirk, saved from Farah’s Snapchat last night, throwing his head back and laughing at a vine compilation that Amanda was showing him. Todd felt his chest contract, his heart begin to dance as the Dirk onscreen looked up at Farah recording him and waved brightly, tears shining in his eyes from laughing too hard.

Todd flicked to the next file; a ridiculously unflattering photo of Dirk shovelling forkfuls of Farah’s home-made pie into his mouth. Amanda had captioned it ‘ _my disgusting baby boy_ ’ before sending it to Todd. Todd felt a laugh burst halfway out of his throat, floaty as a bubble in a champagne glass. He began to scroll through picture after picture after video of Dirk as his chest seemed to slowly fill with butterflies and a fiery, blazing incarnation of that little sun-fire he had become accustomed to. The pictures filled his album; Dirk dozing on the couch with a book over his face, Dirk arguing with him on the eternal debate of tea vs. coffee – unhelpfully recorded by an unsympathetic Farah, Dirk regarding a drained lake with suspicion, Dirk with a dog he met on the street, Dirk standing proudly next to a gravestone, Dirk tilting his head back in the midday sun, Dirk with another dog …

Flashing through all these photos, Todd’s emotions felt like they were being twisted and rolled and pushed about as if someone was kneading them into dough. A stranger would be able to see, just from looking through his phone, that Dirk was the bright, shining centre of Todd’s entire solar system. Todd dropped the phone loosely onto the table, feeling such a bizarre mixture of unbridled joy, foolishness, and self-consciousness that he was light-headed with it all.

Okay. So – he _was_ a different person to who he was a year ago. He knew the difference between more than three types of tea, he knew all the lyrics to “Black Magic” by Little Mix, he thought clubs were loud and sweaty and mostly pointless, and he was disgustingly, hopelessly in love with a man who had climbed into his life via his window.

“Hey, um …”

Todd looked up at the hesitant voice. Kay was standing in front of him on the other side of the table, still slightly pink but mostly recovered.

“I’m really sorry about before,” she said, wincing. “I’m not going to bother you, I promise, I – I just came back for …” She grabbed the cleaning cloth she’d abandoned on the table, and was about to go when Todd stopped by catching her wrist gently.

“Hey, no, I’m sorry,” he said, trying with all his might to be kind, to make eye contact, “I didn’t want to make you feel bad, I just –”

“No, no – it’s my fault …”

“No, I wasn’t like, paying attention, I was probably being –”

“Todd?”

Todd jerked around in his seat. Dirk was standing behind him, a strange expression on his face. His eyes were darting between Todd and Kay; now they settled on the hand that Todd was holding by the wrist. Todd released Kay, who was turning red again and who fled immediately, nearly bumping into Dirk as she went.

“Dirk!” Todd’s throat felt dry at the sight of him. He was wrapped tightly in a jacket that was inappropriately summery in more than one sense, being both too light-weight and a pastel blue colour, dotted with a pattern of white clouds. He looked like Toy Story wallpaper. Todd, stupidly, felt like he’d never known true adoration until this moment.

Dirk took the seat opposite Todd, unzipping his jacket. Todd’s eyes caught on the zipper and Dirk’s long fingers, and he realised suddenly that he had just woken himself to what was going to be a world of torment. Dirk was giving him a weird look now, most likely because Todd was staring. His hair was damp from the drizzle, and his nose was still as pink as it had been in the Snapchat which now felt like arcane footage from a different lifetime.

“What’s … up?” said Todd with effortless panache. _Oh, smooth criminal._

Dirk narrowed his eyes at him, side-eyeing him a bit. “Are you alright …?”

“Fine!” Todd seized the menu and began voraciously reading it before realising it was upside-down. He sensed Dirk pick up his own menu hesitantly, and saw out of the corner of his eye Dirk’s mouth open and then shut again.

A short, uncomfortable silence ticked past between them. Todd wasn’t sure if he could turn his menu around without Dirk noticing, so he settled with some measure of desperation for reading it as best he could upside-down, praying that it didn’t have anything on the back. He heard Dirk shuffle his feet, and the soft rustle of his jacket.

“I’m thinking maybe the crepes,” Todd said abruptly, trying to kill the silence.

“Mm-hmm,” was Dirk’s vaguely sing-song reply at first, then he seemed to actually process Todd’s choice, and said, “Isn’t that a bit sweet for you, Todd?”

“I like sweet,” Todd replied quickly, feeling inexplicably defensive. “Sweet is nice. Sometimes. In some … things.” He forced himself to shut up, before he said anything even more stupid.

Dirk sighed an odd little sigh, but made no response. That in itself was strange – Dirk being quiet was a rare occurrence and one that rarely ever boded well. Usually it meant that he was either daydreaming about something that was going to get them all into trouble, or else he was stewing about something. That, combined with the way that Dirk’s feet were still fidgeting underneath the table, brushing slightly against Todd’s, seemed to hint that a storm of some sort was brewing.

Todd put his menu down with a frown and was met with a surprising sight. Dirk was positively glaring at his menu, as if it were the source of some frustrating and deeply personal slight. For a wild moment Todd wondered if Dirk somehow knew that Todd had told a lie concerning him, then he realised he was being weird and paranoid. He leaned forwards over the table, and was just reaching a hand out to ask if Dirk felt like something was wrong when Dirk very swiftly put his menu down, folded his hands on top of it, and said primly;

“I didn’t peg you as the type of person who would – _flirt_ with the waiting staff while they were working.”

There it was, another one of many statements to go in Todd’s book of _Shit Dirk Said To Me That Was Just So Fucking Weird I Had To Stare At Him_. In comparison to other entries, he supposed, it was relatively normal, but the absolute irony of it in the context of the wider situation was incredible. Todd felt another moment of a paranoia that Dirk, using his not-psychic psychic powers, had somehow seen the entire exchange as well as Todd’s resulting epiphany and was now baiting him to fess up. No, Todd was being stupid. Dirk didn’t know that Todd wanted him, and that was okay, because Dirk never had to know, and Todd could shove his feelings in his chest until they shut the fuck up, or he imploded, whichever one came first.

The Universe, loudly, told Todd to go fuck himself.

“Hey, I’m sorry again! These are on the house.”

Kay was back and more inconveniently friendly than ever. She set down two small cakes, one buttercream and the other dark chocolate. Dirk visibly held himself back from pouncing on the chocolate cake, though something told Todd it had little do with self-restraint. One of Dirk’s favourite things in life was free food, and he usually displayed an almost alarming lack of suspicion for someone who gave people reason to murder him on a semi-regular basis. Now, however, he was staring down at the floor with an uncharacteristically stony expression.

Kay, who was clearly trying to make amends, looked to Todd apologetically. “I wasn’t sure what kind your boyfriend would like but if you want I can –”

“It’s fine,” Todd said so quickly it came out as a half-wheeze. “He likes chocolate. Thanks. It’s all good.”

At this paltry reassurance Kay gave them both one last sheepish smile and mercifully departed. Todd, who had fixed his eyes on the table-top the moment that Kay had said ‘boyfriend,’ could feel himself beginning to sweat. Dirk hadn’t moved, but Todd could feel his eyes on him, making his face burn.

“Listen –”

“It’s nice that she assumed that,” Dirk said, picking up the fork next to his cake. “Most people don’t, even these days.”

Todd pulled his head up to look at Dirk. He was digging into his cake, his expression completely different. At some point, when Todd had been avoiding his eyes, Dirk’s face had melted into a look that Todd could only describe as satisfied. He looked _pleased_ with himself, and was now merrily eating cake as if nothing at all had happened.

First Dirk had thought that Todd had hit on a waitress and, contrary to what Todd would have imagined, he’d looked unspeakably upset over it. Now, Dirk was under the impression that the waitress had assumed that they were together, and had quite happily returned to his usual state of good-natured goofy smiley-ness. And Todd must have had some sort of fascination with close calls, because the next thing out of his mouth was somewhere between the bravest and stupidest thing he’d ever said.

“She didn’t assume it,” Todd found himself saying quietly. “I told her. I told her you were my boyfriend.”

Dirk froze. He frowned at Todd, his cheeks full of cake, fork halfway to his mouth. “Why?”

_Because I want it to be true._

“Because she was hitting on me.” Todd watched Dirk’s face go slightly slack with surprise. Anxiety was brewing in the pit of his stomach in a faintly nauseating way. At the same time, he felt an absurd urge to smile, inappropriate and perhaps slightly hysterical. He pushed on, thinking of how easily Dirk’s irritation had dissipated at the suggestion of them being together, hoping somewhere deep and barely realised that that _meant_ something. “That’s why we were talking when you walked in. She’d – she sort of flirted with me, but then I said you were my boyfriend and you were nearly here, and she got really embarrassed and I – I felt bad, so when she came back I tried to – I don’t know …” He’d picked up a slightly fevered momentum the more he talked and the more Dirk failed to reply. “I tried to comfort her, I guess?”

Dirk had put his fork down again. “Oh,” he finally said, after Todd petered into silence. There was another indefinable expression on his face. His brow was furrowed in confusion, but his mouth was opening and shutting again, upset. He blinked rapidly as he said, not meeting Todd’s eye, “You know, I would really rather you didn’t do that.”

The urge to smile vanished as swiftly as the punch Todd could have sworn some invisible force had just delivered to his gut. “What?”

He’d said it without thinking and it had been mostly rhetorical, but Dirk replied as if it was a question, “Tell people we’re dating when we’re not.”

The pain sank deeper, dug its claws into his chest, and with it came a sense of betrayed shock. Out of everyone he knew, Dirk was probably the last person Todd would have ever expected to be offended by idea of two men dating. In fact he’d always thought that Dirk was, well …

“I thought you wouldn’t mind,” he heard himself say numbly, stupidly.

Dirk jerked to his feet almost quicker than Todd could comprehend, fumbling with his pockets. He pulled out his wallet, his hands and his voice shaking slightly as he snapped, “Why? Because I’m your somewhat effeminate, obviously gay friend? You think that that means you can use me as excuse, like it’s some sort of joke –”

“No!” Todd jumped up from his seat in horror. “No, Jesus –”

He tried to catch Dirk, stop him from leaving or persuade him to look him in the eye, or _something_ , but Dirk wrenched his hands away from Todd’s and dropped a couple of notes on the table. Todd didn’t waste time trying to point out that they hadn’t actually bought anything.

“Dirk, I didn’t mean it as a joke, I – I don’t know what I meant,” Todd admitted, self-conscious even amidst the frantic, painful thumping of his heart. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have –”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Dirk retorted, pushing away from the table, “I would have thought that by now you’d be done with lying to people.”

That stung, that more than stung – Todd felt like the breath had been knocked out of his chest – but more painful than that was the way that Dirk’s voice choked on the words, like a half-swallowed sob. Todd stood there, dazed by it, as Dirk rushed past him and made for the door of the shop.

“Dirk!” Todd grabbed his coat and chased after him, though there was a haze of that stinging pain in his throat and a voice in the back of his mind that was shouting, _stop this, stop going after him, let it go, go home_ … It was a voice he promptly ignored, because no matter what the root of the problem was he’d clearly hurt Dirk, and he’d promised himself a week and one day after meeting Dirk that he was never going to do that again.

When Todd emerged onto the street it was to a cacophony of traffic and sensation. “Shit!” he hissed, pulling his coat on. As Dirk had complained before, the air was freezing outside, and a cruel wind was blowing down the street; the kind of wind that could blow straight through clothes and scarves without pity. The traffic, heavy in the disagreeable weather, was full of angry people honking their horns up one lane and zooming down the other. The drizzle had turned into a foggy sort of downpour, and through it Todd could see Dirk’s retreating figure highlighted in bright light blue and fluffy clouds, a contrary counterpart to his surroundings.

“Dirk! Wait, please!” Todd ran to catch up with him as the rain blew into his eyes, trying and failing to button up his coat as he went. “Dirk!”

Dirk sped up but didn’t break into a run, and after a few minutes Todd managed to get close enough to grab at his arm.

“Dirk,” he panted, “I’m sorry – I never – wanted to hurt you.”

Dirk kept walking, stubbornly, even as he replied, “I’m not hurt. Everything’s fine. You’re tactless and stupid and _completely_ oblivious, Todd Brotzman, and everything’s fine!”

“Okay, that – doesn’t sound fine,” Todd frowned, tugging at Dirk again and being brushed off for his efforts. “Dirk, just stop for a – for a second,” he pleaded, not caring that his desperation was probably showing, “Dirk, please, talk to me …”

Dirk didn’t talk to him, and he didn’t stop either. He barrelled ever onwards down the street, and Todd, ever a glutton for punishment, followed him with equal determination. He reached for him occasionally at first, but Dirk kept pulling away, so Todd fell silent and focused his efforts on keeping up. All the while the cold air and the burning ache of rejection mingled in his throat, making it sting like hell, and his chest ached and ached. It was only when they rounded the corner of their street that Dirk came to a very sudden stop and Todd knocked into him. He stepped back, trying to catch his breath, bending over and leaning on his knees. Dirk seemed infuriatingly together, and Todd wondered why he’d stopped for a moment until he realised that it was probably because Dirk had suddenly remembered that they lived together and he couldn’t just bolt home without Todd being perfectly legitimate in following him.

Dirk’s shoes, muddy in the rain, turned on their heel. Todd could feel Dirk looking down at him, but he was too breathless still to try another apology, although he could feel it – the guilt, the disappointment at how badly this had gone.

“I didn’t – I didn’t mean to hurt – you,” he said the moment he’d caught his breath enough to speak.

“I know,” came Dirk’s quiet, unbearably sad reply. The sound of his voice, broken like that, made Todd straighten up even though he wasn’t quite ready to, and the rush to head coupled with the sight of Dirk’s face nearly made him sway on the spot.

“Oh god, Dirk I’m sorry.”

Dirk had been crying, his eyes and nose pink not just from the cold. His cheeks were still wet, with rain and tears alike. “I knew the minute I ran out. You wouldn’t do it on purpose, I know … I’m an idiot, but ...” Dirk blew a sad, self-conscious version of a raspberry, raising his hands in a shrug. He looked like he was trying to smile, but he was too wet and too obviously miserable to pull it off.

Todd wanted to reach out again, to take Dirk’s hand, but he tried enough already. Dirk had made things pretty clear. Todd could feeling his eyes stinging – oh god, he was going to start crying too.

“Todd?” Dirk was peering at him in concern, even now, after Todd had hurt him again. He was stepping closer, and he really shouldn’t, because every millimetre more the distance between them closed the more Todd felt like he was going to do something extremely ill-advised.

Todd looked up at him, at the raindrops that had caught in his hair and his lashes, at his mouth, pink like band-aids and fur coats he could hardly remember.

“I’m sorry. That I got upset,” Dirk was saying, though why he was apologising was completely beyond Todd, and Todd himself was too caught on the spot by everything that was Dirk taking up his view of the entire world. “I just … I didn’t want us being together to just be a lie that you told people when it was convenient for you.”

Todd flinched back at the harshness of those words, at how much the idea they conveyed hurt, and once again he spoke without thinking, “What, you think I wanted it to be a lie?”

Dirk was staring at him. Though the wind had died down the rain had only grown heavier, and now it was pelting straight down and soaking them both completely. Dirk’s hair was plastered to his forehead, his brows twitching as if they didn’t know whether to rise or fall. Todd waited, hardly breathing, and inside his chest he held tightly to that little Dirk-created sun flame, and hoped and begged and prayed that he wasn’t just about to lose it.

“I … I don’t understand,” croaked Dirk, now beginning to frown, softly and hesitantly. “What are you …”

Todd swallowed. Then he met Dirk’s eyes, as earnestly as he could, and he told him the truth, starting with the small truth. “I told her we were dating because that’s what I wanted to be true.” Dirk didn’t bolt, or look sickened or embarrassed, so Todd took a breath and moved onto the bigger truth. “I want it to be true, because I want _you_ , Dirk.”

Dirk’s contorted brows, his confused mouth, they both swept clear – not blank but suddenly loose and unarmed with a kind of sweet surprise that Todd had seen on him once before. It had been the moment when Dirk had been told by his future self – at the time Todd’s present-Dirk – that Todd was going to be his best friend. Dirk opened his mouth to speak, but Todd cut him off because he needed to tell him the biggest, most important truth; the truth that was the reason for the other truths, and had been growing in their centre like a flowering tree in a quiet garden for longer than Todd had known.

“I’ve loved you for months – over a year, I think,” he said, and watched with silent wonder as Dirk started in reaction, an almost imperceptible straightening of his back and a widening of his bright eyes.

“You – but … oh. _Oh_.” Dirk was stammering now and it was unbelievably endearing, as well as doing unbelievable things to the butterflies in Todd’s stomach. “Oh my _god_. No, really?”

This didn’t seem to be a bad reaction, and Todd was unable to hold back a tentative smile. “Really,” he said.

Dirk blinked at him, as if Todd was some kind of holy vision that he couldn’t believe he was seeing with his own eyes. A few tears had reappeared in his eyes and Todd nearly reached up to brush them away, but hesitated, his hand stopping halfway up. He didn’t need to worry, it transpired – Dirk seized his hand with enthusiasm and pressed it against his own cheek. As Dirk’s eyes shut his tears slipped out and down his cheeks, trickling against Todd’s fingers.

“Hey, it’s okay …” Todd moved in closer, his heart tripping over itself, shouting, singing. He could feel tears on his own cheeks, sniffed, and laughed a little.

Dirk’s eyes flew open in sudden fear, “Hold on – you said ‘loved’ past tense, do you still –”

“Oh my god, Dirk, yes, I still love you,” Todd laughed wetly, bringing his other hand up to cup Dirk’s face.

Dirk looked instantly reassured, leaning into Todd’s touch. He moved both hands to Todd’s wrists, holding him in place. “May …” His voice was shy, as was his small smile, “may I kiss you, Todd?”

Todd felt suddenly breathless, and nearly nodded his acquiescence before common-sense reminded him that he was drenched, and that his nose was very unromantically dripping snot. “Uh, yes,” he said, seeing that his hesitation was making Dirk’s wonderfully bright eyes dim slightly, “but we have to get inside first.”

Dirk nodded with such enthusiasm that Todd laughed again, a sound that ended in a slight yelp when Dirk took off towards the flat, pulling Todd along by the hand. Together they splashed across the road, through puddles made by overflowing gutters, muck spraying itself across their pants and shoes. Todd clung tightly to Dirk’s hand as he followed him through the front doors and up the stairs, hoping their landlord – who was less of a crackhead than Dorian had been – wouldn’t notice the muddy footprints they were leaving behind them. He only let go when Dirk proved unable to unlock their door with one hand.

The moment they got inside Dirk whirled around and shut the door by backing up into it, grabbed Todd, and just about wrenched his arms out of his sockets in a shot for a kiss. It was an incredibly sweet but badly calculated move that resulted in Todd’s head knocking gracelessly into Dirk’s nose. Both groaned in pain, and Dirk flushed pink as he clasped his nose and apologised profusely.

Todd laughed, not caring at all because he could actually put his hands up and touch that pink blush with his thumbs. He was mumbling something happily, something about how ridiculous Dirk was, and not paying attention at all. Dirk’s eyes were watering though, this time with pain rather than emotion, so Todd ushered him into the bathroom where the brightest overhead light in the house was.

There was a charmingly peculiar feeling humming in the background as Todd sat Dirk down on the edge of their bathtub and checked his nose for bleeding. It should have been pretty much the opposite of romantic, but there was a newly granted intimacy too it. Todd hadn’t realised that he’d worried every time he touched Dirk that he would linger too long, not until he was suddenly allowed to linger. The whole thing brought an oddly pleasant mingling of the alien and the nostalgic, like a feeling of déjà vu; peering over Dirk’s face for damages as Dirk side-eyed him through his lashes sheepishly. Todd could hear the rain thundering outside and overhead, cocooning them within its music.

“Sorry,” Dirk said with a small, embarrassed smile. “I didn’t mean to ...”

“You’re fine,” Todd said, because it was the closest thing to ‘ _you’re perfect_ ’ that he could manage to say aloud, just yet.

Dirk mumbled something, the blush returning to his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

“What was that?”

Dirk grimaced, and said in a rush to a spot above Todd’s shoulder, “It’s-just-that’s-how-I-always-imagined-it-happening-with-you-and-the-door-or-maybe-a-wall –”

“You ...” Todd could feel himself turning pink now. He wasn’t sure what exact part of that jumbled mess of words was making his insides do acrobatic feats, the revelation that Dirk had imagined them kissing, or the bit about –

Dirk, for his part, was clearly horrified that he had said anything. “I – Never mind. It’s just –” He looked suddenly defensive, “Well, it’s your fault actually! You’re the one who used to – to _manhandle_ me, all the time, early on. I spent half the bloody Patrick Spring case against a wall.”

“And you – uh ... You liked that?” Todd said, somewhat embarrassed himself by how much his voice was breaking.

“No!” said Dirk quickly, then, “maybe. In hindsight. Never mind.”

Todd was distracted, “Dirk, oh my god, you’re bleeding. How hard did you ...” It was only a small trickle of blood, and he had to laugh, because instead of looking more self-conscious Dirk just looked resigned, as if he had decided that to almost break his nose attempting to kiss someone was just his lot in life.

Todd retrieved a cloth from underneath the sink and was halfway through running it under the tap when Dirk spoke again, in a halting, quiet voice.

“It’s not like ... It’s not some sort of kinky thing or ...”

Todd turned to look at him curiously. He was studying his hands, which were knotted in his lap, and frowning as he struggled to explain.

“I don’t ... I’m not ...”

Todd smiled, almost overwhelmed by fondness. Gently he tipped Dirk’s chin up and began to clean away the blood, as well as the dried tears. “I know.”

Dirk looked frustrated. “No – it’s not a sex thing, not that that would be bad, it’s just I’m not –” He looked at Todd, and then away again, but not fast enough to Todd to miss the panic in his eyes. “Todd, I’m ... I don’t think I’m ready for sex, not right away – not that I’m assuming we were going to have sex because that seems arrogant, and not that I never want to have sex with you or that I’m not attracted to you because let me assure you I most _emphatically_ am – in many, _many_ ways if not sexual – I’m still figuring the sexual attraction thing out; but I don’t want to lie to you or lead you on –”

“Dirk.” Todd put a hand on Dirk’s chest, trying to calm him. “Don’t panic.” He pushed errant strands of damp hair back from Dirk’s face, trying to smooth out that worried frown as he went. “We’ll work it out.” He smiled, “We always work it out, don’t we? I mean, I’m not always a great assistant, but you’re a pretty good detective.”

The stiffness in Dirk’s face and figure evaporated until he looked almost goofy with happiness. Todd had to admit it was a good look on him.

“Here.” Todd grabbed a fresh cloth and passed it to him. “Focus on this, okay? And tell me what you’re trying to say, just – one thing at a time.”

They exchanged places, Todd sitting on the edge of the bath and Dirk standing to run the cloth under the tap.

“It’s ... important to me,” he said slowly, as he came to stand in front of Todd, “that you understand. If we’re – in a relationship, there’s a very good chance we might never have sex as much as other couples.”

Todd couldn’t help but smirk. “But would it be ‘boring, _boring_ sex?’”

Dirk thwacked him in the face with the wet cloth in retaliation. Once Todd had recovered from sputtering, Dirk began to clean his face with a serious expression. “Todd, really. I love you, and I want to be in a relationship with you, but it might look different from other – what’s wrong?”

Todd could feel a huge grin splitting his face, and he couldn’t tone it down at all, not even if he could bothered to. “You said you love me.”

Dirk gave him a look that suggested that Todd was being very weird. “Well, of course I love you, Todd, I think we’ve very definitely established that.”

Todd shrugged happily, “Then everything’s fine.” Dirk still looked conflicted, so Todd took the cleaning cloth off him and squeezed his hand. “Dirk ...”

Dirk met his eyes, and Todd felt all his thoughts, previously fairly in order, fly into a daze. The knowledge that in spite of everything he had done in his short, fucked-up life, somehow the stream of creation had seen fit to bring him to this man was just about the hardest, most beautiful thing to believe of all the unbelievable things that Todd had witnessed. Dirk was looking at him as if he was caught between the promise of something wonderful and the threat of losing it forever, and it took Todd a moment to realise that the something wonderful, in Dirk’s eyes, was Todd.

“Dirk,” Todd said, “when I said ‘I want you,’ I meant all of you, not just sex. You know that, right?”

Dirk, apparently, had not known that. “I ...”

Todd reached across him for a towel hanging on the rack, and the momentary closeness made his skin itch. Dirk seemed to feel it too; he shivered just slightly. Todd wiped the remaining dampness off his face and passed it to Dirk. It would be a bit easier to say this if he couldn’t, just a minute, see Dirk’s eyes, because Dirk’s eyes were seriously distracting.

“Dirk, I want to give this a go. I have to give this a go, because if you want me too then it’s going to be pretty much impossible to stop myself from loving you.” He smiled, watching the tips of Dirk’s hair fluff up as he buried his face in the towel. “You’re – you’re a really lovable person, Dirk.”

“I am?” came Dirk’s muffled, bemused reply.

Todd laughed, “Yeah, you are. And – and you make me feel ... I don’t even know how to describe it.”

Dirk kept his head down in the towel, as if he didn’t know how to react to this. Todd felt an ache reappear in his throat.

“Please don’t ... try to make this not happen. I know this is new for us, and you’re scared – maybe even confused, but we can go at whatever pace you like. I ...” He swallowed. “I don’t know how else to tell you how much I want this. It’s like – we’re ...” Suddenly the words came to him, moving through time and rearranging themselves. “We’re _meant_ to be together.”

Dirk still had his head buried in the towel, and Todd was beginning to worry.

“Uh, Dirk?”

“Mmmphf.”

“Dirk, I can’t hear you.”

Dirk lifted his head, and Todd knew that if he hadn’t been already, now he was absolutely done for. Dirk was smiling, so bright and blissful that the sun flame in Todd’s chest came roaring into a new kind of life.

“Is ...? Is that a yes?” he asked hopefully.

Dirk nodded, his smile breaking into a grin and his mouth bursting into speech as he dropped the towel to the side and wrapped both hands around Todd’s. “Yes – it’s, yes, very much so – I – _Todd_!”

Todd laughed as Dirk half-shouted his name in unrestrained delight, but Dirk wasn’t finished yet.

“Oh god, Todd, I – I’m sorry about the thing with the door, it’s just I’ve wanted to kiss you _so much_ and for the longest time, it’s actually been pretty inconvenient sometimes; and for some reason I could not stop imagining our first kiss being one of those times when you would just grab me but you’d kiss me against a door – I saw that in one of the films Amanda showed me, but I really bollocksed it up and then I started overthinking everything and –”

“You, overthinking things? Never.” Todd had stood while Dirk was talking, and now he was slowly backing Dirk up, though had hadn’t seemed to notice.

“But it doesn’t matter now, because you understand – you _really_ understand, and you still want me, and you’re _perfect_ and you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to tell you that –” Dirk’s back hit the door, and the situation seemed to finally drop on him hard enough to knock him silent. He stared down at Todd with wide eyes, a small, surprised smile curling at his lips. “Todd?”

“Just to be clear,” said Todd, raising his eyebrows, “you want me to kiss you, right?”

“Y – yes,” replied Dirk, his voice breaking, breaths coming shorter.

“How about making out?” asked Todd, though he had a feeling he knew the answer.

He wasn’t entirely prepared for the sound that Dirk made though, a low noise in the back of his throat. “Mhmm.”

That was last thing that Todd could handle. He pressed into Dirk’s chest, grabbed Dirk by his stupid blue jacket, and with only slightly more finesse than Dirk had earlier, pulled him into a kiss. Dirk made another low noise, this time of approval, his hands swiftly moving to Todd’s hips and pulling him closer. The rain overhead and all around seemed to grow into a crescendo and then fade away altogether into sensations; hands and lips, fingertips against skin, the still wet leather of Dirk’s jacket and the warmth of his mouth when it opened in a soft sigh against Todd’s lips.

They ran out of air, took breaths, came together again; one kiss turned into kisses in the plural, and Todd could feel his head spinning and his chest tingling with an all-encompassing warmth. Dirk, incapable of shutting up for even a second, was muttering things into Todd’s mouth and then his jawline, and Todd could only make his soft, sweet voice as the words blurred together into one stream of adoration. Dirk’s hands were in his hair now, thoroughly making of a mess of it, then the next moment were moving down his back and pressing him ever closer, gathering him into Dirk’s arms.

Todd tried, with everything he had in him, to kiss Dirk with the strength of everything he wasn’t able to tell him just yet. He tried to tell Dirk he was sorry for making him wait this long, for every shitty thing he had ever done, for making him think for even a second that he didn’t want him. He kissed him with the fervour of sheer happiness, the joy that they had found each other despite being born god knows how many miles and continents apart. More than anything he wanted Dirk to know that he was grateful; for being given a chance, for his warmth, for the way that Dirk had blown into his life and dragged him kicking and screaming into a better one, for the way that Dirk made him feel ...

Todd broke off the kiss, swearing.

“What?” Dirk sounded concerned, “What is it, was that too –”

“No,” Todd shook his head. He was laughing, more breathless than he had been after running down the street. His heart was racing but something within it had clicked into place, just the way things had after Todd had first called Dirk his boyfriend. “I just – I ...” Dirk was looking hurt now, and Todd cupped his face and smiled, “It’s not you – you’re perfect.”

There it was, one thing he could check off on the long list of truths that he had inside him to tell Dirk, and it had come out so much easier than Todd had expected, because that was how easy Dirk made things feel. Dirk was smiling at him with that blissful smile again, as though Todd had given him some kind of rare and precious gift.

“I worked it out,” Todd grinned, running a hand through Dirk’s hair just to watch his eyes flutter closed.

“What’s that, Todd?” hummed Dirk dreamily.

“The word for how you make me feel.”

“Mmn. Are you going to tell me?”

“I think so.” Todd’s eyes roamed across Dirk’s face, tracing every line and freckle. “One day. Soon.”

Outside the rain had petered to a gentle thrum, and Todd knew that soon the apartment was going to get cold. That would give him a good excuse to make hot coffee, and pull Dirk down with him onto the couch. They could watch crappy afternoon TV, wrapped up in each other, and if Todd wanted to lean up and kiss him he’d be able to. For now though, Todd was happy to memorise every detail of Dirk in this moment, right after their first kiss; his hair in whirl and his collar pulled loose and his lips so very pink. This, he knew, he wouldn’t forget.

“I love you,” Todd said once more.

Dirk opened his eyes lazily, smiling, “I love you.”

And the feeling washed over him; contentment, a peace and feeling of belonging so strong and warm that Todd wanted to bask in it forever. The little flame in Todd’s chest, finally satiated, burned brightly.

“Come on,” said Todd, taking Dirk’s hand. “Let’s put the kettle on.”

**Author's Note:**

> \- Dirk's Toy Story jacket is [this monstrosity](https://d2h1pu99sxkfvn.cloudfront.net/b0/4296638/318766470_Ja4NergKRf/P6.jpg), which I must have.  
> \- Dirk's autistic traits are based on my own experiences but if anyone who is autistic has any notes let me know.
> 
> If you enjoyed this at all or have any crit please comment! It would most likely make my day. If you want to suffer my online presence/scream about Dirkle Gents with me I'm on Twitter @c_maculatum and Tumblr (less so) @ teacupsandcyanide.


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